I hate cockroaches.

December 21, 2005 at 11:01 am | Posted in The Ugly | 10 Comments

I hate cockroaches.

Have I mentioned that I hate cockroaches? They have a purpose on this earth, but I don’t care. They are gross, disgusting, and make my skin crawl.

Around 1:45 am, I rolled out of bed to take a shower. (Once again, I had fallen asleep putting Aurora to bed.) I couldn’t stand the feeling of my hair sticking to my head (slight exaggeration) any longer and decided that, despite the hour, I had to take a shower. I walked into our restroom and opened the shower door to run water. Lying on its back in the middle of the shower was a medium-sized cockroach. (About an inch long and a quarter of an inch wide.) It had managed to squeeze itself through the grate above the shower leading into the attic to meet its death on our shower floor. (Just cleaned by the way.) I am glad that it was dead, although as I swept into the tray to throw out outside, it moved. (shudder) You know how they do that. (shudder… again) I threw it out and rinsed the shower down with scalding hot water before climbing in. If we don’t get rid of them soon, I am sure this will be the scenario:

It’s another late night. I am exhausted, but determined to shower. I open the shower and turn the water on, anxious to rinse the dirt of the day off of me. Groggily, I step nude into the hot shower spray, sighing with relief. I lean back, allowing the water to rinse over me when I feel something land on my face then slide off. I am screaming bloody murder. I look down at my feet and there is this brown, inch-long cockroach running around the shower floor. It climbs up my leg. With a ferocity that surprises me, I get it off, but it continues to run around the shower, unphased by the hot water as it tries to escape the psycho, naked woman who has lost all common sense due to one bug 1/68th of her size.

My husband comes rushing in, thinking an intruder is in the house. He’s no more thrilled than I am to find yet another cockroach in the shower and goes to the kitchen, telling me to keep an eye on it. I jump out of the shower, looking for something to keep that beast from following me out. My husband returns with a glass vase to trap it.

In the meantime, Aurora is crying while I am dripping water all over the bathroom floor. My husband traps the damn bug, but now, I’m not so sure I want to chance a shower.

Four days later, I decide that taking baths isn’t such a bad idea.

Tomorrow morning, I call our exterminator. Maybe this time he’ll be able to kill all of them.

Okay. I’ve indulged myself long enough. Time for bed.

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10 Comments »

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  1. I’ve fallen asleep many a time putting Emily to bed. One night, in the summer, I crawled back into bed at some ungodly hour, after falling asleep with Emily. Just as I was dozing off, I felt something skitter across my leg…I though my husband was imagining things when he said he’d heard a mouse, but he wasn’t….we spent the next half hour stripping the bed, searching the room and emptying our pillowcases. The mouse was nowhere to be found. I didn’t sleep very well after that…

  2. Hi there! Too bad New Year’s resolutions can’t be like the cockroach, eh? We’d always survive them if we were.

  3. EWWWWWWWW………….
    I HaTe them 2.
    My friend wants 2 raise “HISSING COCKROACHES!”
    I think he’s CRAZY!
    😮

  4. LOL. Too funny. Tell your husband that I hope he did not simply let the critter back outside. A roach with that kind of aggressiveness will just breed a thousand more. It is best to just smash them. LOL.

    I can’t tell you how many times I have reached down with a wad of paper towels to pick up a dead roach only to have it move and scare a squeak out of me.

  5. He did, Cat. Neither of us have the balls to squish them. I just can’t handle the crunch. Little ones, yes. Big ones, no. However, I do not have any problem throwing them violently into the gutter, which usually kills them. 😀 I just can’t handle that squishing sound, nor the feel of the exoskeleton crushing under my foot.

    WC

  6. EW.

    EW.

    EW.

    Reminds me of when I was a newborn back in the Philippines. We had a major roach infestation in one of the rooms (it was an old house). My mom was of course concerned with the new baby (me), so my dad decided to do something about it.

    My mom said that he grabbed a slipper in each hand, strode valiantly into the infested room. He looked back at her for a second, then closed the door behind him. All she heard were slapping sounds after that. She dared not enter.

    Some time later he emerged, exhausted but triumphant.

    My dad- what a hero 😀

  7. i hate cockroaches, i live in the caribbean where its always a problem bcuz of the humidity, i am often happy around november to april when its not so humid and i cant see them…. i absolutely hate the flying roaches…. they are gross and yucky, make it worst the sound they make when you squash them…. pop!!!!!!!!!

  8. YYUUCCKK!!!!
    Thank god i have a cat which loves ”squashing” then eating those beasts of the floor. Once my mom squashed a 4 inch cockroach and it made this cruch sound and the head was parted from its body and it stood up and started running around!!! i screamed my ass off and went and got the raid. but when i came bak wit the raid my cat was grooming himself after a delicious meal of u know what.

  9. oh goodness i absolutely despise them, i see zero point in them being here and if they all dropped down dead… i’d laugh then burn them.
    once (i am from britain), i was staying in florida in an apartment, and i walked into my bathroom and there was this big ass cockroach bang in the middle so i FREAKED OUT, and i got my dad in. so he then stamped on it, but all the eggs exploded out of its stomach 😐 VILEST THING IVE SEEN IN MY LIFE.

  10. i actually made a video about roaches. check it out!


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